We’ve reached peak unicorn.
From macarons to toast toppers to makeup to pool inflatables (so many pool inflatables), the latest social media fad is beginning to lose its sparkle with the newest creation: Starbucks’ Unicorn Frappuccino. It’s a drink literally created for Instagram, which we obviously and willingly fell for despite being well-educated 30-something women.
Even the barista gave us a good ribbing when we inquired whether they anticipated running out of unicorn parts to make the magical drink.
“Well, there’s a lot of adults around here so… no.”
Ouch. We deserved that.
We felt in tall order to explain that the unicorn is the national animal of Scotland. As if that would excuse our cringeworthy order. Is anyone else questioning the unicorn’s title as an "animal"? Did they run out by the time they got to Scotland? And, if they were going the mystical-creature route, surely Nessie would be the natural choice. Or even the haggis?
Perhaps the unicorn reflects Scotland’s magical landscape and colourful inhabitants?
Either way, Tori wasn’t going to let down her heritage and, on behalf of her fellow countrymen, she took it upon herself to try Scotland’s new national drink.
So, what does a unicorn taste like? The “flavour and colour-changing creation” is not made with the blood, sweat and tears of unicorns (Starbucks baristas, perhaps); instead, the purply, pinky, swirly, sugary concoction is made from 100 per cent rainbows. And by that we mean: it’s a pink powder blended into a mango crème frappuccino with mango syrup. A thick vein of “sour blue drizzle” layers the magical creation before being topped with vanilla whipped cream—and pink and blue sprinkles, natch. And it certainly delivers on its flavour-changing promises. It starts off as a dentist’s dream—pure sugar (think melted cotton candy and Creamsicles)—and then hits you with an eye-wincing sour tropical punch.
Despite the tartness, it remained sickeningly sweet while we dutifully finished it in its entirety (which was difficult, because our hands were shaking from the intense sugar high). We haven’t consumed this much sugar by 10 a.m. since we were children.
We’re not sparkling, but we’re certainly quivering.
Despite the unicorn’s best efforts, Whisky maintains the title as Scotland’s national drink. But what do we know? We questioned her status as an animal.
The drink is only available until the end of the week, so grab your phones and get ‘gramming. (For the health conscious: A tall Unicorn Frap made with whole milk contains 280 calories, 11 grams of fat and 39 grams of sugar.) —Tori Clark & Katie Mercer
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