I attended my high school reunion this past summer. When I first got the invite, I reacted as many of you probably would—why would I want to go back to a point in my life where I didn’t even know who I was, what I wanted to do … or even how to style myself? (Imagine oversized plaid shirts, tight rolled jeans and hair-sprayed bangs that made a big wave above my forehead). I figured, I’m passed this stage of my life, and therefore there’s no point in revisiting it. Then I had a chat with my encouraging dad, Jerry, who is even more social than me, and loves any opportunity to have a great time and connect with people. He also appreciates nostalgia and reminded me of what a great time I had in high school.
Don’t get me wrong: I experienced the normal adolescent drama that teenagers do, but, overall, I liked people, people liked me, and I had a positive time. So, just a few hours before the event, I decided to go. I packed up my car, took a ferry boat and made it just in time to Vancouver Island. I arranged with some childhood friends (who I’ve known since I had a mouth full of braces) to go together and, within a few hours, there we were, standing in a room full of people we hadn’t seen in years.
For me, I hadn’t seen most of them since high school, as I moved from the small town and went on to live in Sydney, New York and now Vancouver; I’ve been pretty far removed (geographically) from the crowd for a long time. What I thought would be a quick hour of “hellos” and “wow, look at yous” turned into me being one of the last to leave, and I came away with much more than I thought—including these three important, shareable lessons:
1. You haven’t changed. Who you were in grade school is still who you are. Of course, you’ve matured and had life experiences that shaped you, but your values are still the same. You were born with your values and they are a part of your essence. Hint: if you ever feel like you’ve lost yourself, think back to what made you come alive when you were younger. What filled your soul? What could you spend hours doing without thinking about time? These answers will help you reconnect back to what’s most important to your soul, which will help you get clarity on your passion.
2. Cherish the connection. You’ll never have this bond from adolescents with anyone else—so appreciate it. Nobody will ever really know you how people in grade school know you. Take it for what it’s worth, but I think it’s quite a unique connection to value.
3. You’re not alone. No matter how you may be feeling today, you have bonds with A LOT of people. Whether you like it or not, you are still connected with hundreds of people from your lifetime. You may not have seen them in 10, 20 or even 30 years, but your paths have crossed and you both have imprints from each other. Try this! If you’re ever feeling lonely, do a brainstorm of everyone you’ve ever met. Just write down every person that comes to mind for 10 minutes. Then circle five people you want to re-connect with. You could send them an email, find them on Facebook, or whatever you want. Do something to reach out and see what happens.
Has your outlook on reconnecting with people (or at least one person!) from your past changed? I’d love to hear your perspective in the comments below. Also, what’s ONE thing you’re going to do to re-connect with someone? Again, leave a comment and let me know! And, if you know someone who could use some tips on connection, share this post! —Tonia Mattu, founder of Yuology
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