Welcome to The Mom Flow, where I share things that are on my mind in the hopes of helping you connect to your Mom Flow. Thanks for being here! —Erin Sousa
Content being mid
I was prepping for a panel I’m doing with a great group of fellow entrepreneurs next week (sorry, tickets are all sold out!) and we all met up to do a venue visit and to go through run of show. The common theme among us (each of these moms being truly conventionally successful) was that things are a LOT lately and we are looking at things differently now that we are all in our late 30’s and 40’s. No matter who I speak to, we are overwhelmed and figuring out that the hustle is just not it. Digging into what makes us happy is where that starts and I had a big ah ha moment the other day: learn to be content with being mid. Let’s let that sit because maybe that pinged you in a way that felt uncomfortable. Maybe you had the reaction of “mid?! I am anything but and I want to be the best I can be”. But hear me out. Striving to be the “best” is a moving target that often times doesn’t fulfill us or make us happy. And honestly, “best” is subjective AF. And actually, it doesn’t exist. When did we become our own biggest improvement project and at what cost? I feel like that was a Carrie Bradshaw SATC moment (IYKYK). I love accomplishment and I do get a lot of pride out of it but it’s important to recognize what is ego (if you are looking for a good book about the ego and detaching from it, Eckhart Tolle A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose is incredible). Comparing ourselves to what others achieve is really the biggest driver of this and from what I know in my own life, that’s a never ending cycle of feeling like a failure. Hence, finding contentment in being mid. So. Damn. Freeing.
Mom Flow event coming soon
We are deep into planning the very FIRST public Mom Flow event! Did a venue check this week and found the spot!!! Mark your calendars for November 7 and fret not, you will be the first to get a link to tickets when they drop. Goes without saying, but tickets are limited. This type of event has been a dream of mine, to bring together a group of moms for a come as you are connection event. And we are close to making that happen! I am working with VITA Magazine (who has been a huge supporter of The Mom Flow since I launched it) to bring this dream event to life and we have so many fun things in store – you can expect snacks, wine, a little pampering, and epic gift bags… and of course, Mom-fessions with other moms just like you. If you want to expand your friend group, this will be the place. If you want a night out to just take yourself on a date night, this is it. I am excited to spend some one-on-one time with each mom who attends, too! And don’t worry, that’s not all, I just can’t spoil alllll the surprises! This will be the first of many I hope, and we plan to visit other cities. Mom Flow era is here! Um, pinch me!
Matching friendship energy
A chat I’ve been having with key ppl in my life is being the reliable one. The one who always checks in, plans the dates, keeps their word. Especially when you’ve been the constant doer for someone, and it’s not reciprocated in even the smallest of ways. Tough pill to swallow but what I’ve realized is 1. people are so busy and overwhelmed in their own lives… I defo like to give as much grace as possible until it starts to feel icky. 2. that we all feel like this about people in our lives because we can’t check in with everyone consistently or plan the get togethers like we would like to. And so the stance that I take now? If I’m always the one reaching out, I just match their energy and if it fizzles, so be it. The most rewarding relationships are the ones where you both want to make them happen – which these days, does take effort. I go back to the Mel Robbins ‘Let Them’ theory which makes the most sense of all. Honestly, it’s freeing and letting go of your own expectations is empowering.
Kid activities chat
So what are we all doing for kiddos activities?! I go back and forth between getting her back into soccer and swimming, doing something else, and just saying forget it all, I don’t want her over-scheduled and busy. I want her to do a group sport, maybe something for confidence like theater (honestly, she is pretty confident but this would be a new muscle for her). It feels so busy already with just preschool and daycare, weekends activities, play dates, bday parties… BUT… we did a thing. We signed her up for Portuguese class! I have been threatening this for sometime, but didn’t know if it even existed in Vancouver. She has lots of family in Portugal, and with our home there and her Portuguese citizenship, it’s important to us that she learns the language. It seems crazy to think she can learn a whole different language but it of course can/will happen. That is three hours every weekend so I feel like we can hold on other activities for now, and she will get to the age when she asks to do certain things. And like, I will have three hours to myself on the weekend?! I feel guilty, but also excited and also sad to miss that time with her.
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