Adoption Myths Debunked: Expert Insights From The Dave Thomas Foundation

With National Adoption Month approaching, the Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption is addressing common questions and misconceptions surrounding foster care adoption. In this Q&A, president & CEO Rita Soronen shares insights on navigating the adoption process, debunking myths, and providing guidance for prospective parents looking to change a child’s life. —Noa Nichol

What are some of the most frequently asked questions you receive from people considering adoption, particularly from foster care? Can you walk us through the most common myths and misconceptions about adopting children from foster care?

We are frequently asked questions like, what is the cost? How do I begin the process? Won’t the biological parents fight to have the children returned? Who are the children in foster care, and why are they there? Often, embedded in these questions are also some myths and misconceptions, such as:

There is often a misconception that all types of adoption are expensive. That comes from international and private infant adoption, which is expensive, but foster care adoption typically involves minimal costs.

There are also frequent questions about the birth family being able to return and take the youth away, which cannot happen. Once a judge decides that it is no longer safe for a child to be with their family of origin, and they terminate rights, the new adoptive parents of that child have all the rights and responsibilities of a birth family. They are legally bound to each other as if that child was born to them.

Children are in foster care due to abuse and neglect. They need our help, and the foster care system is meant to be temporary. The main function of the system is to reunite youth with their birth families. However, when that is not possible, and a judge rules it is not safe for a child to return home, they become legally eligible to be adopted. There are more than 30,000 children in Canada waiting to be adopted from foster care, and every single one of them is there due to no fault of their own.

Why do you think these myths persist, and what impact do they have on prospective adoptive parents?

Myths can create barriers to moving children to legal permanency. They are often based on one person’s experience, a media story on a particularly older youth circumstance, or just deeply held beliefs about vulnerable children and families. Unfortunately, for example, due to the levels of trauma that youth in foster care have survived, they often don’t have the ability to make good decisions. Their brains have simply been in a fight or flight status for so long. Sadly, that can lead to interactions with law enforcement, which adds to the myth that foster care is somehow linked to juvenile justice systems, which is untrue. It’s imperative for people to understand that youth are not placed in foster care because they are “bad.” In fact, youth in foster care are doing their very best to put one foot in front of the other and every child in foster care handles their trauma differently.

For families interested in adoption, what are the initial steps they should take to begin the process?

The first thing a family can do is assess where they are in being able to provide a child a permanent home, explore if they have the time and support to expand their family, and find local agencies that manage foster care and adoption. The Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption – Canada also has a Step-by-Step Guide to Adoption available on our website. This is a great way for any family trying to learn about what to expect. The next best first step is to reach out to Adopt BC Kids and learn about the requirements to adopt from foster care, which can include foster care classes, a home study and background checks.

How does the adoption process for foster care children differ from private or international adoption?

There are many differences. Typically, children available through domestic and international adoption are infants. Additionally, private and international adoption can be quite expensive and in private adoptions, a birth mother could change her mind. In foster care adoption, there is no birth family with rights to the child. However, all three types of adoption are a time commitment and build families in wonderful ways. None of these processes are quick.

What support systems or resources does the Foundation provide to help families through the adoption journey?

The Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption – Canada, through its signature adoption program provides support for the hiring of adoption professionals, known as recruiters, who work to find permanent, loving homes for the children who have been in foster care the longest. This includes older youth, teenagers, siblings and children with special needs. These adoption recruiters walk the path with the families all the way through to finalization acting as a resource and shoulder to lean on. Often, after the adoption is finalized, the adoption recruiter remains a resource for the family. Many of the adoption agencies that the Foundation partners with also offer post-adoption support services.

With National Adoption Month, what message do you hope to share with families considering adoption or looking to learn more?

There are more than 30,000 children and teens in Canada waiting in foster care for their forever family. If you have space in your heart, your home and your life to be a safe, loving and permanent family for one of those youth, we encourage you to learn more. If adoption isn’t for you, please follow us on social media and share our content with your friends and family, subscribe to our newsletter to hear about heartwarming stories of foster care adoption, or consider donating to help us expand our work and serve more waiting children. You can learn more at www.davethomasfoundation.ca