Money Dysmorphia Is Real—Here’s What Wealth Actually Looks Like Now

From Coachella splurges to luxury travel on instalments, the line between looking wealthy and being wealthy has never been blurrier. As buy-now-pay-later culture and social media continue to reshape how we spend—and how we perceive success—many Canadians are quietly asking: what does financial wellness really mean today? We sat down with Kate Murdoch, Wealth Advisor, Investment Advisor and Portfolio Manager at Richardson Wealth to unpack the rise of “money dysmorphia,” the hidden role of debt, and how to redefine wealth on your own terms. —Noa Nichol

Let’s start with the big one—what is “money dysmorphia,” and are we all a little guilty of it right now?

Money dysmorphia is a disconnect between how someone perceives their financial situation and what’s true on paper. It can go both ways: someone may feel far worse off than they really are, or they may feel more financially secure than their reality supports. That gap is often rooted in emotion rather than facts, and may be shaped by things like upbringing, uncertainty, comparison, and personal experiences with money.

Most people experience some form of money dysmorphia at some point. Right now, it’s incredibly common. We’re living in an environment where comparison is constant, headlines can create financial anxiety, and social media can distort what stability and success really look like.

Coachella culture, luxury travel, designer everything—how much of what we’re seeing online is actually real wealth versus well-packaged debt?

One of the most important things to remember is that high spending does not necessarily mean financial security. A polished lifestyle can be very convincing from the outside, but appearances rarely tell you whether that spending is supported by savings, cash flow, long-term planning, or debt.

In my experience, true wealth is often much quieter and far less visible. Real financial security usually looks like flexibility, discipline, and options, not constant display.

Buy-now-pay-later is everywhere—at what point does “flexible spending” quietly turn into financial self-sabotage?

Troubles can arise when purchases are being made without a clear path to repay them, or when multiple small payment plans pile up and quietly turn into debt that feels difficult to manage.

However, I’d say the real shift happens when it stops being a convenience and starts becoming a dependency. If someone is relying on these tools to maintain a lifestyle they can’t comfortably afford otherwise, that’s usually a sign they’re moving away from healthy financial decision-making and toward a pattern that can create longer-term stress.

Why do so many Canadians still identify as “middle class,” no matter how much they earn—is it perception, pressure, or denial?

For many people, it’s largely perception shaped by comparison to their peers and surroundings. Most individuals can easily identify people who appear to have more wealth than they do, and others who appear to have less, so they place themselves somewhere in the middle regardless of their income.

At the same time, the cost of living continues to rise, and people don’t necessarily feel wealthier if inflation is keeping pace with, or outpacing, income growth. Social pressure also plays a role, because higher levels of spending can become normalized very quickly depending on your environment. In that sense, “middle class” has become less of a precise financial definition and more of an identity people use to describe how they feel relative to the world around them.

Social media makes everything look effortless—what are the biggest financial realities that aren’t making it into the feed?

Social media tends to show outcomes, not the mindset behind them. It rarely shows the emotional side of money, or the discipline, consistency, and sometimes sacrifice required to build real financial security over time.

That’s what makes comparison so unhelpful. Everyone is working from a different starting point and a different reality. Wealth may come from career success, inheritance, family support, or even debt, but from the outside, those paths can all look the same.

Is keeping up with the algorithm the new version of keeping up with the Joneses?

Absolutely. Comparison is no longer local; it is global, curated, and constant. People are no longer measuring themselves against just their neighbours, friends, or colleagues, but against a nonstop stream of highly edited lifestyles and success markers. The result is a benchmark that is often unrealistic and constantly moving, creating pressure to spend for visibility rather than value.

What are some subtle red flags that someone might be living beyond their means—even if everything looks polished on the surface?

One red flag is the consistent use of debt to fund lifestyle purchases, especially when someone is struggling to keep up with the payments. Another is having a high income but little-to-no savings, or no consistent savings plan in place to support long-term financial health.

You might also see someone going off track with their bigger goals, whether that’s retirement planning, projected savings targets, or other priorities they say matter to them like home ownership.

In some cases, a lifestyle is being held up by bonuses, commissions, or external support rather than stable, reliable cash flow. From the outside, everything can still look polished, but underneath there may be very little margin for error.

For someone feeling the pressure to “look successful,” what’s your no-nonsense advice for staying financially grounded?

Start by getting clear on your “core pillars” and what matters most you. That will help you define success for yourself rather than borrowing someone else’s version of it. Without that clarity, spending decisions can easily become reactive and emotionally driven.

These pillars can also help separate spending for value from spending for validation. Ask yourself whether a purchase is adding value to you and your circumstances or simply helping you perform a version of success for other people.

From there, build a financial plan and track your progress so your decisions are grounded in facts, not emotion. Ideally, your money choices should be driven by long-term priorities, not short-term pressure.

How should we actually be defining wealth today—if it’s not the vacations, the outfits, or the highlight reel?

To me, wealth is better defined by financial flexibility and security. It’s the ability to support your lifestyle without ongoing stress or dependency, and to make choices from a position of stability rather than pressure.

Its also emotional. Real wealth is deeply tied to alignment with personal values. If your financial life supports what matters most to you, and gives you peace of mind, that’s a much more meaningful measure of wealth than anything on a highlight reel.

If you could give one reality-check rule for spending in the age of social media, what would it be—and would most people actually follow it?

My rule would be to get clear on what matters most to you – your pillars — and make sure your spending reflects those priorities and the long-term financial goals tied to them. It’s not about denying yourself everything that brings you joy, but about being intentional and making sure today’s choices don’t undermine tomorrow’s security.

Practically, I still believe in the good old 24-hour rule. Sleep on it before making the decision. Most people know instinctively when they’re being pulled by emotion rather than intention. The challenge is having enough discipline to pause and override that feeling in the moment.

The other side of money dysmorphia—those that have money, but struggle to allow ourselves to spend—what is this?

The other side is often a form of scarcity mindset, even when wealth is clearly there. I see it commonly in retirees or individuals who have spent decades saving diligently and find it difficult to switch gears. They know that they have enough, but emotionally still operate as though they need to protect it from running out. It can also show up in people who inherit wealth and struggle with feelings of guilt or undeservingness. In both cases, the challenge is moving from a saving mindset to a spending-with-confidence mindset.

That’s where structured planning and tools like financial tracking can be incredibly helpful, because they provide clarity, reassurance, and, in many cases, permission to enjoy what they’ve built.