Pro Tips On Coping With Infertility During The Festive Season

The holiday season is filled with joy and togetherness, but for the one in six individuals facing infertility, it can also bring emotional challenges. Navigating well-meaning yet intrusive questions, surprise pregnancy announcements, and family gatherings can feel overwhelming. We sat down with Dr. Caitlin Dunne from the Pacific Centre for Reproductive Medicine (PCRM) to discuss how those struggling with infertility can protect their emotional well-being during the holidays—and how friends and family can offer meaningful support. From setting boundaries to embracing alternative celebrations, Dr. Dunne shares expert advice for making the season more manageable. —Noa Nichol

What are some practical strategies you recommend for individuals coping with infertility during the holiday season, especially when faced with family gatherings and difficult conversations?

Struggles with infertility can be tough during the holidays due to friends and family celebrations, which often focus around children. There are many ways to cope with difficult conversations:

• It’s important to take time to focus on yourself. Holiday time is often spent on others, but try to build some “me-time” into that schedule to focus on exercise, nutrition, and positive affirmations about the future path to having a child.
• Fertility problems are common – but many people don’t talk about it, because it’s a deeply personal journey. However, when there are gatherings with friends and family, sometimes the opportunity is created to talk about your journey and your struggle. It’s highly likely that others have walked in the same path as you.
• Take an inventory: it’s important to give yourself a break, and understand that you’ve likely done a lot of things over the past year to move forwards on the journey to being a parent – as the holidays close and a new year starts, it’s good to stay positive about the future, but also be thankful for the energy you’ve invested so far.

How can friends and family members better support loved ones dealing with infertility, particularly during a season that often emphasizes family and children?

For those who you have opened up to, tell them exactly what you need. Sometimes it’s advice, sometimes it’s just a listening ear from someone who can empathize and understand your issues.

What advice do you give to patients about setting boundaries during the holidays, and how can they navigate potentially triggering situations with grace and self-care?

It’s really important to make sure you don’t end up in stressful situations. If you think a party you’ve been invited to will be full of people who are ready to give you free advice, it might be best to stay home! The path to parenthood is yours – and because you are concerned, and seeking help, you are on a pathway that will give you the best possible chances.

Alcohol is a big item around the holidays – people trying to conceive often refrain from drinking, and it’s important that you put yourself in situations were you don’t feel a loss of confidence in decisions to moderate or abstain from alcohol.

Many assume that because having children is “natural”, it must be easy. Please remember that infertility is very common, and even if it takes some time, there are many ways to build a family. I cannot overstate how important it is not to lose hope.

Consider limiting social media: Although social media can be a great source of information, it can also be stress-inducing and misleading. It might seem like everyone else’s journey to parenthood was easy, but that’s definitely not always the case (just like those idealized vacation photos!). For example, more than once I have treated members of the same family and neither knew the other was struggling with infertility.

And try not to isolate yourself. Sometimes I see couples for whom the fertility journey has brought them closer and others where it’s torn them apart. Remember that no one is to blame. And you don’t need to have all the answers. A fertility doctor can guide you through the medical steps so that you can focus on your mental health and your relationships.

Are there specific child-free holiday celebration ideas or activities that you suggest for individuals who want to avoid traditional gatherings centered around children?

Winter activities are often things people do in smaller groups, and often without children. Snowshoeing, hiking, skating, skiing can all be great exercise with maximal contact with other adults.

How does PCRM approach the emotional challenges of infertility during the holidays, and what resources or support services do you offer to patients who might be struggling?

Many people seek fertility care during or just after the holidays. We try to ensure that they have quick appointments and are fully supported by our engaged team of nurses and counselors. The biggest support is through understanding that the holidays bring an extra level of stress – sometimes that is good because it helps people focus on their treatment. For others – it’s good to avoid treatment during the holidays, giving yourself a break from the fertility journey so that you can re-group and be better prepared for the new year.