The Mom Flow: The Things That Shocked Me About Motherhood

Welcome to The Mom Flow, where I share things that are on my mind in the hopes of helping you connect to your Mom Flow. Thanks for being here! —Erin Sousa

I’ve had a week that’s been all over the place. We took a little couples trip for Monday/Tuesday, and then with Easter prep and Good Friday, your girl feels pretty spread thin this week. BUT, I really love being here with you so this one isn’t super long, but it’s somethin’.

Lately I’ve been reflecting about motherhood (like when do I not to be honest) and certain aspects that have really surprised me. No matter how much I’ve read, or conversations I’ve been part of, you can’t be prepared for what it’s really like. I don’t think there are enough real convos about these things and that can make it feel like you’re alone or “weird” for feeling it. The internet can really make us feel like everyone is doing it better, doesn’t struggle, and has it allll figured out. Well, my hand is up, because that’s so not me.

How much work it takes to build your village

Can I be honest with you for a second?

Sometimes, being a mom feels lonely – and that caught me off guard more than I expected. I often think how lovely it would be to have a small group of moms nearby – women I genuinely connect with – where the kids can just play freely without a big plan or effort. The more casual, the better. But building that kind of community takes work, and if you’re the type-A kind one putting in a lot of the effort… it starts to feel impossible. Everyone’s busy. Everyone’s managing their own chaos. And finding your village people (yes, I said it) feels more rare than it should. I honestly wonder if we’re hardwired to crave this kind of connection – it feels like we are. Even after moving into a new neighborhood and starting at a new school, I assumed that connection would happen naturally. But it hasn’t. And for some reason, that surprised me.

How tiring it would be doing the 5-9 after the 9-5

Nothing really prepares you for how full on motherhood is. The energy it takes to work a demanding job – whether you’re running your own business or on your feet all day in customer service – is already a lot. But then you add the after-work shift: school pickup or daycare, dinner, the backpack unpack, the emotions, the mess, the bath, the bedtime battle… it’s nonstop. And that’s just the baseline. Then come the extras – holidays, sports, lessons, birthday parties – and I only have one kid. Some days, it feels like it asks more than I can give. That said, I’m so ready for spring and summer. Just being able to open the door, let the fresh air in, and loosen the bedtime routine a bit. She’ll be five soon, and I’m looking forward to what that rhythm will bring.

How challenging it is to take care of yourself, kids, marriage, friendships and everything in between all at once

Sometimes everything hits at once, and other times it just feels like you’re constantly dropping the ball. When you’re not feeling 100% or you’re carrying something heavier, it can be completely overwhelming. I try to simplify wherever I can, because when the chaos creeps in, I lose the joy – and forget why I’m even doing it all in the first place. Taking care of yourself during those times? It feels almost impossible. It’s the first thing I tend to push aside. And honestly, the sheer effort it takes to keep everything running smoothly still blows me away.

There’s more! Keep reading this week’s edition of The Mom Flow by Erin Sousa; subscribe for free to receive new posts and support her work, here!