The Mom Flow: A Case For Solo Parenting

Welcome to The Mom Flow, where I share things that are on my mind in the hopes of helping you connect to your Mom Flow. Thanks for being here! —Erin Sousa

I never know how to intro my posts because I just wanna hop right into it, but HI! How are you? This week I’m digging into a kinda polarizing topic that I know some of you will feel in your bones… the joys of ‘doing it all yourself’. Only the real ones know this is a gift and a curse. So, let’s dig in.

Prefer to listen? It’s like a podcast if you hit the play button at the top of this post. I read it to you with plenty of extra chit chat you didn’t ask for, but might like.

I have a hot take: I love solo parenting. There, I said it. Phew, feels good.

Roberto went away for 5 days to Cabo and it’s the longest stretch of solo parenting I’ve ever done. That’s not long for many of you reading, but for me, it was pretty new. My sis does this with two kids bc her hubs goes away for work quite often which is a lot. I’ve heard the horror stories and I was a tad nervous myself but it was important to me that he didn’t feel any worries leaving so I didn’t say a word. I encouraged it. No guilt taking time for himself because DAD FLOW is also a thing!

Growing up with a single mom, solo parenting for those few days made me realize what she was up against… and with two kids? Total queen. It’s hard making every decision alone and not having someone to lean on when you feel worried or scared – I thought about what she may have felt a lot over the 5 days he was gone.

BUT, there is a definite upside to solo parenting, we cannot deny it… and no, this doesn’t mean your partner is not appreciated, but it’s ok for two things to be true at once (and really, as moms we need to normalize this bc far to often we get lambasted for feeling our feelings and saying them out loud!).

There were reasons I absolutely loved solo parenting:

• making the decisions without checking in
• running the day how I want to run it
• less emotions to consider (and less mental load!)
• eating girl dinner
• special mom/daughter quality time (I let Lola sleep in our bed and it was so fun!)
• no interruptions with my shows
• I only need energy to manage Lola’s feelings
• no coordination or crossed wires
• the challenge! I looooved how fricking accomplished I felt holding it all down and working!

Do you know what I love more, though? Parenting with my husband.

It made me realize just how much there is to do – Roberto does so much and we trade off on child care a lot. It’s actually beyond exhausting (and relentless). I missed telling him everything and the companionship of that person who knows me the best (and the one who wants to hear it all). So, hubs, I’m glad you’re home, and I’m also glad I now know that I got this if I need to! Annnd shoutout to the grandparents because I even snuck in a day to myself which was the recharge I need solo parenting or not.

There’s more! Keep reading this week’s edition of The Mom Flow by Erin Sousa; subscribe for free to receive new posts and support her work, here!