Let’s face it: single or taken, we could all use a little advice come Valentine’s Day. Lucky for us, eHarmony.ca VP of content Jeannie Assismos was willing to chat matters of the heart with us ahead of February 14—you’ll love her tips on making the day a lot more fun and a lot less stress-y! —Noa Nichol
Please tell us a bit about yourself. What makes you a "love expert"?
I have been working with eHarmony.ca for 8 years as the vice-president of content, overseeing the curation of, and writing my own, blog posts. As a member of the eHarmony team for the last 8 years, I’ve watched the company continue to be a leader in the online dating industry as the accessibility to these sites and apps grows.
We’re intrigued by the statement, “February 14 doesn’t have to be all heart shapes and chocolate candies." How so?
Remember the excitement of getting hand-written Valentine’s cards from your classmates? Now, we get a migraine walking into a store from the red and pink candies and balloons. Valentine’s Day is to celebrate love, which is actually a pretty simple act. By bringing it back to the basics, we can use Valentine’s Day as a reminder to appreciate the little things about your partner and even your friends. Maybe just by saying thank you a few more times, cleaning up after dinner, or even making a hand-written Valentine’s Day card!
Single or involved, what are some Valentine’s Day expectations you consider to be unrealistic (and what can/should women and men do to shed them)?
I’ll be the first to admit, sometimes it’s nice to receive a beautiful piece of jewelry. But whether your relationship lasts past Valentine’s Day shouldn’t be impacted by the gift you receive or the restaurant you go to. One of the easiest ways to shed any expectations in a relationship is by communicating with the other person. Maybe the one thing you both want for Valentine’s Day is for some time alone with one another. For the singles out there celebrating, there’s this expectation that you shouldn’t be alone. And if you feel like this, that’s fine! Schedule a wine night with some of your girlfriends or try a catch the game with guys.
There is some common advice given each Valentine’s Day, around what to do when you’re single (and feeling lonely). Got any fresh/new insight on this problem (or is it, in fact, no problem at all)?
I think we’ve made this whole “single and lonely” notion out to be more of an issue than it actually is (cue the shot of the sad girl with mascara running down her face, eating a bowl of popcorn and drinking wine from the bottle). But these days, dating is so accessible that if you don’t want to be lonely on Valentine’s Day, you don’t have to be! By setting up an online dating profile with apps or sites like eHarmony.ca, you can find a match within hours and schedule a date, or cozy up on the couch and get to know each other online.
For new couples, Valentine’s Day can present a lot of pressure. Any advice for, say, singles who have recently met online, gone on a couple dates and are now faced with the daunting decision of what to do/say/plan/give on February 14?
Communication is key. If you’re compatible with the person you’re dating, it’s likely you’re comfortable enough to discuss your expectations. Another option for those go-getters: take the lead. If you have certain Valentine’s Day expectations, plan them! Just don’t assume that the person you’ve been dating has those same ideals. Keep them in the loop so they can flag any hesitancies they might have.
Should singles involved in the world of online dating schedule a first date on Valentine’s Day? Why or why not?
There’s no hard answer here, as it depends on the person. At eHarmony.ca, we’ve had an overwhelming number of couples come out of a first date on Valentine’s Day. The good thing about online dating is this isn’t a blind date. You have already opened up a dialog with this person, and if you’re using a site like eHarmony, you’re already matched based on compatibility.
Have you heard any horror/success stories around online dating and Valentine’s Day?
Sometimes the pressure associated with Valentine’s Day is too much, especially for a brand new couple or first time daters. It really depends on the person. I did hear of a story where a guy was so nervous to go on this Valentine’s date he spent an hour throwing up in the bathroom while she sat at the table. If this is you or you tend to be the anxious type, schedule the date for the following weekend! Be kind to yourself.
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