Lifestyle & Parenting

The Mom Flow: Co-Parenting Challenges + A Good Cry

March 3, 2024

Welcome to Friday Five, where I share things that are on my mind in the hopes of helping you connect to your Mom Flow. Thanks for being here! —Erin Sousa

All the feelings are ok

Lots of feels this week. I’ve been up and down, which honestly, I don’t see talked about much online these days with the constant barrage of selling all the things. Side note: when did social media become about selling 24-7?! Maybe I’m just more sensitive to it these days? Anywayyyys, my point is that it’s absolutely normal to have days, weeks, months, years of emotional ups and downs and I defo had something building for a few days. Missing my mom, feeling terrible about her situation (she is in a care home with Alzheimer’s) and I defo needed a good cry. Luckily, my sis is always up for a vent sesh and especially since we completely understand my mom and what it’s been like, she was there for those tears. The hard thing about letting myself go there about my mom is that it can often take me out for the day – grief is like that. I have to be careful about going there and doing what I can to compartmentalize that with everything else that happens in life. I’ve learned to get curious about why I feel how I feel which allows me to move through the feelings with more agility. It’s a practice. My best advice is to talk to someone who you feel safe with when you’re feeling down – even when it’s not your first instinct, it can be so therapeutic!

Modelling wellness for our kids

I was on my wellness coaching call (it’s a group call I have every three weeks with a wellness coach I’ve worked with for years) and the topic of the call was movement and how important it is. Not necessarily working out, which definitely is needed, but also the small moments of movement we incorporate into our day (like getting up every 30 minutes while working, puttering around etc.). My mom always did the best she could with what she had and where she was at in life, but outside of a few exceptions, I don’t ever remember seeing her take care of her physical wellness. Something that’s important to me is that Lola sees and knows that I take time out for myself, but most importantly, modelling incorporating fitness into my daily life. She has always known dad goes to the gym, and now that I’ve started, I’ve intentionally started telling her where I am going and what I am doing, then asking Roberto to bring her into the gym (it’s in our building) to show her what I’m doing. It’s more tangible when she sees her mom taking care of herself, and I want to model that for her to understand how important and normal it is to make time for herself. 

The bittersweet part of being a mom

I’ve been really struggling with Lola getting older. Motherhood comes with so many emotions, and feelings I never knew existed. The term bittersweet has never held so much meaning as it does when you have a child. There is such a duality to it – I love watching her grow and learn and at the same time, I see time passing so quickly, and that babyhood and toddlerhood slipping through my fingers. Like you can’t believe how much this little person changes month to month. Lola loves seeing videos of herself as a baby and has started asking to watch them pretty much every morning and omgggg Roberto and I secretly brush away the tears! It’s all been such a blur. Although you try to soak in the moments, they are so fleeting that it’s impossible. I wanted to share this post my IG friend Jacquelyn put up… it totally stopped me in my tracks. 

Co-parenting is a trip

You know what no one prepares you for? Co-parenting. I’ve heard people say that raising a child together will show you what your relationship is made of and it very much is true. I’m gonna say it: we’ve had our ups and downs. It’s defo put a magnifying glass on some of my own characteristics and ways of doing things, and it’s most def created some conflict in our relationship at times. It’s also taught me to be a more understanding person, letting go of having the 100% say in the way we do things. We recently had a squabble about introducing a new routine, and this is what happened …

Something we’ve been moving into with Lola is getting her more involved in chores, giving her responsibility of her things like bringing her dishes to the sink, putting clothes in the hamper, unloading the dishwasher, doing the dishes and most recently, making her bed. You might imagine I’m the parent who is reminding hubs about being consistent with getting her in on the chores. Does the term control freak enter your mind? In other words, I’m the ‘nag’. Look, I know that word has a negative meaning and I don’t like using it, but it’s what I feel like sometimes. I told him that I do not want to end up that way, playing the role of the mom who is always reminding, yelling, forcing my fam to get it done. Most recently, this was about the making of her bed (ahem, we barely make ours these days mind you). Well, to my surprise, the next day after we had that convo (squabble), he had it all done with her, and they are keeping it up! It meant so much to me that he heard me understood why it was so important to me. I can’t help but feel how formative these years are for her and it’s something that’s always top of mind for me. Oh, and communication with your partner about how you’re feeling and what you need is always a good idea.

There’s more! Keep reading this week’s edition of The Mom Flow by Erin Sousa for her thoughts on Vanderpump Rules, her fave new flats and her secret to bright eyes; subscribe for free to receive new posts and support her work, here!


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