The Mom Flow: Firm Boundaries + Real Estate Realness

Welcome to Friday Five, where I share things that are on my mind in the hopes of helping you connect to your Mom Flow. Thanks for being here! —Erin Sousa

Sticking to parenting boundaries

I was reminded yet again that being a parent means you have to do things you really don’t want to do, but that sometimes those things are so important to raising strong kiddos. Every Saturday is mommy and Lola day, and it’s really my fave day of the week. I get to focus on being a mom all day long – every other day of the week, my attention is split a million different ways (most often with work). The older Lola is getting, the more I see these days passing so darn quickly. This is not the point of this story, butttt can’t help share a little reflection! So, this past Saturday, closer to the end of the day, I was looking for something to do with her, and wanted to take her to dads work to say hi (he loves when I bring her in and his coworkers do too!). Well, she had a meltdown between our front door and the car about something, and I tried to calm her, put her in the car to go, and on the way she just could not shake it. It wasn’t like her. Instead of taking her to dad’s work, I had to make the call, much to her dismay (basically an even bigger meltdown) that we couldn’t go. So after a circle around the neighborhood, we were back on the couch, snuggling for a movie. In the moment, she was mad at me, but I had to make and keep that boundary bc in that moment, mom knew best. She was tired and overstimulated after a busy day. It’s hard to make the call. I wanted to just have the visit but it wasn’t a good idea for her. A reminder that sometimes those hard in the moment experiences are what’s best in the longer-term and to stay strong and trust your mama intuition.

Essential podcast listening

I listed to a podcast this week that was one of those that RESONATED. It echoed SO much of what’s been on my mind over the last months and it was amazing to hear these words reflected back to me. I hope you listen to it and take so much away from it! As I start to accept new work opportunities after my life and work reset, it’s so essential to continue to do the work and not let myself get swept up in chaos again. Protecting my peace is something I focus on but it can easily get away from me. An excerpt from the show notes to give you a little more info:

“We discussed the importance of taking a pause before saying yes to commitments. By checking in with ourselves, evaluating our feelings, and aligning with our principles, we can make decisions that truly resonate with our values and goals. This pause allows us to detach from external pressures and connect with our internal compass.”

Full body chills when he spoke on the war within yourself when you say yes to something you want to say no to… wow. Highly recommended, essential listening!

Summer toddler clothing haul (and tips!)

I used to find buying clothes for Lola so overwhelming! I’ve gotten to know what we reach for and what we don’t when dressing her and keeping it simple is just so key. I love the idea of shopping consignment for her but I haven’t gotten into that yet – kids clothes are so expensive and often so much goes unworn, or at least worn very few times. It feels wasteful to overspend! I try to shop early each season bc things can sell out soooo quickly and I hit up H&M almost exclusively these days bc the prices feel good and we reach for those items most often. Lola doesn’t give input to what she wears yet (kind of a win IMO and I’ll take it while I can!). Here is what I’ve learned works best for us :

Sets are my biggest mom hack! I purchased a multi-leggings, t-shirt and shorts pack so they all mix and match:

Jean shorts (to be worn with the mix and match t-shirts)
Cotton dresses
Fancier dress 
Swimsuits
Runners
Jammies
Sandals (we have some from last summer)
Light jacket/cardigan/hoodie for cooler nights or layers (didn’t need any as hers still fit)
Hat (she has lots, but had to buy this one)
Sunglasses (have lots from last summer and you can find on Amazon)

As much as I love a good purge, I save clothes from the season before – so for instance clothes she was wearing last spring/summer, I save and will try them on her this spring/summer in case they still fit. Well, I hope this helps – sometimes it’s nice to see how other families approach clothes. Hats off to moms of multiple kids bc mannnn it’s a lot to keep up with! 

Real estate realness

I chatted about it on IG, and honestly I was VERY hesitant to do that bc sharing something that seems like a big topic or what could potentially be a big milestone feels vulnerable! We are poking around the real estate market and checking out our options. There are lots of reasons, but with our mortgage coming up in Nov and with applying to school happening for Lola in Nov, it’s a good time to look at what our options might be. We have NO guaranteed outcome with the process bc we are honestly just very preliminary, talking with our mortgage broker and real estate agent, getting a sense of the market, and we even popped by a few open houses to align our expectations. My feet are so solidly planted in reality with this. Interest rates are super high, what are our needs REALLY (meaning, it’s very easy to want for more more more but does that “need” or even the perks of a new home outweigh the downsides in the scenario? I smell a good old fashioned pros and cons list!). We are looking at creative living solutions, too. The Vancouver market is known to be the most expensive in North America, which makes it not very conducive to raising a family. We own a 2 bed 2 bath 1,000sq ft condo in Downtown Vancouver and buying it was a huge accomplishment for us. We actually LOVE a lot of things about it. Close to everything, pool, gym, the look of it, patio… and these days, getting this kind of layout, floor plan, two parking etc. is not common. Which is crazy. As Beyoncé says, “this ain’t Texas”. So, we also need to be smart. ANYWAY, we are literally just dipping our toe in and not sure of what’s to come. Happy to share as long as you keep this in mind!

There’s more! Keep reading this week’s edition of The Mom Flow by Erin Sousa; subscribe for free to receive new posts and support her work, here!