Inside The Mind: How EMDR Turns Inner Trauma Into Art

Now showing at VIVO Media Arts Centre until April 12, EMDR is a deeply personal and visually immersive four-channel film installation by Vancouver-based artists Trevor Jacobson and Tanya Goehring, the duo behind The Automatic Message. Blending cinematic storytelling with psychological exploration, the project invites viewers into the emotional terrain of PTSD and the healing journey of EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) therapy. We caught up with Trevor and Tanya to talk about turning trauma into art, the collaboration behind the project, and how EMDR opens new conversations about mental health through the lens of contemporary media art. —Noa Nichol

EMDR is such a personal and emotionally rich work. What was the turning  point that made you decide to turn Trevor’s PTSD journey into an immersive art  installation? 

Trevor: When I was in my mid to late twenties I had a vision of presenting these ideas  in the form of art in some way or another, but it was all very abstract. Probably because  I was still in the thick of it. It felt like something I would do when I was “older”. But  together as a duo, we started talking about it after we had our daughter and finished  playing shows in Germany. We had been playing techno parties for years and felt a bit  tired of creating sets, playing them and then moving on. We wanted to make something  that was shown over and over again, and also something that dove down a bit deeper. 

Tanya: For me, it was in 2017 when Trevor came home from his first EMDR session –  the description of his session was so intense that we both knew instantly that we had to  do a project about it. 

You’ve described EMDR as eight years in the making. How did the concept and  execution evolve during that time—from the earliest ideas to the final four channel experience? 

Tanya: In 2017, Cristian Vogel, one of our favourite producers and a pioneer in  electronic music composition, invited us to come to Denmark to create a film adaptation  of his immersive theatre & contemporary dance production “Agnete & the Merman.” We  ended up creating a 55 minute film that is scored in dolby surround sound. Later that  year, Trevor, still grappling with PTSD, began exploring EMDR therapy. 

When he went for his first EMDR session, he came home and described the session –  he said he felt like a layer of grime had been wiped off. He felt different. Hopeful.  Clearer. His descriptions of his experience with EMDR were so visceral that we  immediately knew we had to create a project about this. 

We started brainstorming, writing, preparing a grant proposal. Inspired by our recent  project with Cristian Vogel, we decided to do something immersive and cinematic,  where we could explore how sound, image and space can create deeply affecting  experiences. 

In 2021 we applied for a Canada Council for the Arts grant and we were successful! We  were absolutely stoked, to say the least!

Right away we knew that we wanted to create a four-channel piece, where the four  screens formed a room. We wanted the viewer to feel like they were inside of Trevor’s  head. In 2019 we participated in a Digital Ladders workshop put on by Robert Ouimet  and Sue Biely, supported by the BC Alliance for Arts. This two-day workshop really  helped us to formulate the project – we presented and workshopped our idea to experts  in the field of immersive events, virtual reality etc. We found that people responded well

to the idea and our plans with the film never wavered with experts suggestions. We  were set on this work being pretty much what it turned out to be. 

We started casting in 2022 and found Daria through instagram. Trevor felt strongly that  he wanted a women to play him. She is an incredible contemporary dancer and after  watching some of her reels, I knew that she could act as well. We approached her and  she was game to be a part of the film. The only issue was that she is Russian! So we  had to accommodate her accent and change a few details in the story. 

We went into production later in 2022. Because we were creating a four channel piece  we shot many of the scenes with four cameras at once in order to capture a scene with  actors so that the action would be synchronized across all four screens. We filmed each  scene with specific attention to where the viewer would be placed. For many of the  scenes, the viewer is placed in the center of the scene, so that they can look around  and feel that they are actually in the space with the character. At other times, only one  screen plays or the action slides from screen to screen, keeping the viewer an active  participant. 

We finished filming in 2023 and spent the last two years editing, doing the sound  production and writing the original score. 

This work is inspired by the therapy process of EMDR, which isn’t widely  understood by the general public. How did you approach translating a deeply  internal, psychological process into a cinematic and sonic experience? 

Trevor: We felt strongly about not using an actor to simulate EMDR—it was important to  us to show what a real session actually looks like. For the scene where our main  character undergoes EMDR, I initially reached out to the therapist I’d been working with  and asked if she’d consider being in the film. She graciously let me know it would be a  conflict of interest. 

Fortunately, we happened to know a therapist who specializes in EMDR through our  social circle —and as luck would have it, she’s also connected to the electronic music  scene, so it all came together in a really meaningful way. 

Beyond the session itself, the film explores the sometimes painful and disjointed  memories that can surface during the treatment process. We wanted to be honest about  that internal experience—how it feels, not just how it looks. 

What were some of the challenges or emotional breakthroughs that came with  exploring such personal trauma through a creative lens—especially in a public,  immersive format?

Trevor: I originally wrote a script, which in itself was cathartic and difficult. A lot of these  painful times happened a very long time ago so even though the event still causes  issues in my life (even after EMDR), it’s not like I sit around thinking about these  moments or anything so it was somewhat painful writing this. We co-directed the film,  but even if Tanya was directing someone, the question would often come back to me –  how should this character feel at this moment? I was constantly going back to these  difficult moments. There were a lot of parts that made me feel a bit choked up when I  wasn’t expecting, mostly showing the character’s family’s perspective. As for emotional  breakthroughs, I would highly recommend to anyone who’s battling with a difficult  memory to try to write a short story, script or chapter about these moments and then talk  about it. It’s a really great way to fully face these things. 

The movement work by Daria Mikhaylyuk is haunting and expressive. What was  the collaborative process like with her in terms of channeling Trevor’s internal  landscape through dance and physicality? 

Trevor: Daria is on another level so it was easy for us, but we can’t speak for her. We  were able to just let her know the emotions that were happening in the scene and the  back story so she could either improvise or take notes and come back with the perfect  way to show these feelings. Everything she did felt exactly right for the character. 

Sound and image work so closely together in EMDR. Can you share how your  background in experimental electronic music informed the emotional tone and  pacing of the piece? 

Trevor: Tanya and I both starting going to raves in our teenage years and I began  writing techno and experimental music in my early 20s. We both have this deep-rooted  history with electronic music culture which definitely permeates everything we do. I was  a teenager when this all happened so finding rave culture in some ways saved me from  the darkness, but also pushed me into other dangerous territories. Also, people have  always told me how cinematic my music is, even my techno, so it naturally fits with what  happens in the film. 

Tanya: When we started building EMDR, we wanted the sound to carry a lot of the  emotional weight. Also, when we used to perform live, we loved playing with darker  visuals that matched Trevor’s techno – there was always an emotional side to what we  do, so it was fun to translate that style into an immersive installation. 

How do you hope audiences respond to EMDR, especially those who may have  lived experience with PTSD or trauma? Is it meant to comfort, confront, or open  up a larger conversation?

Trevor: All of the above. An artist we deeply respect—who’s also recently experienced a  head injury—told us after seeing the installation that it really captured what it feels like  to be profoundly isolated from others. That hit me hard. It’s something I’d never even  thought to try to explain before, but it’s exactly where the anxiety and depression start  for me. 

It’s this sense that you no longer fit in, that every word out of your mouth lands wrong or  that you just don’t belong. And when you’re living with PTSD or the effects of a head  injury, that feeling follows you everywhere. Even after years of therapy and being on  medication, I still carry that weight. That feeling of disconnection—it keeps resurfacing,  even when you think you’ve moved past it. 

Much of your past work explores memory and its fragmentation. How  does EMDR build on that theme, and what new territory does it explore for you as  artists? 

Tanya: With EMDR, we honestly weren’t intending to create a piece that would fit in  thematically with our past work… but after looking back, memory and the displacement  thereof is a common theme that runs through our art. EMDR therapy itself is about  revisiting and reprocessing fragmented memories, literally trying to piece them back  together so they can be integrated and better understood. For over ten years our focus  was on live audiovisual performances, where we perform with a single channel video  screen behind us, mixing the audio and video in realtime. This project allowed us to  create a multi-channel piece, so that we could explore ways where we could immerse  the viewer. 

What does it mean to you to premiere EMDR here in Vancouver, at a space like  VIVO Media Arts? 

Trevor: It means a lot to premiere EMDR here in Vancouver, and VIVO couldn’t be a  more fitting space. Over the past twenty years, we’ve thrown events, played shows like  the Signal and Noise Festival, and spent a lot of time at both of VIVO’s locations. It’s  such an important institution in the city—supporting artists for 50 years now—and being  part of that legacy is really meaningful to us. 

Tanya: Originally, we met with one of the staff just to talk about renting the space to test  the footage on four screens. But by the end of that meeting, not only had they offered us  a ton of helpful advice—they also said they’d be open to us showing it there as a full  exhibition. Everyone we’ve worked with at VIVO has been incredibly professional and  supportive, so saying yes was a no-brainer. Arman, their onsite tech, has been amazing —his attention to detail is next level, so we knew the project was in great hands.

What’s next for The Automatic Message? Do you envision EMDR as a touring  installation, or are you already working on the next evolution of this project and  your creative practice? 

Tanya: We’d absolutely love to tour the project. We built the screens to be reusable, in  case the next space or gallery doesn’t already have something similar in their arsenal.  We’re planning to pitch to galleries across Canada and internationally, focusing on both  contemporary art spaces and new media festivals. 

Trevor: As for what’s next creatively, we’ll be finalizing the soundtrack soon—it’ll  definitely be available on Bandcamp in the next few months, and we’re considering a  vinyl release as well. After that, I want a little break from looking backward in this way. If  we take on another personal project, it’ll either come more from Tanya’s perspective, or  if it’s from mine, it’ll be a bit less literal. 

Beyond that, we’re excited to keep making new music, and we have a lot of ideas  brewing—sound installations, short films, and even the possibility of experimenting with  audiovisual sculptures. We’re also looking into artist residencies that are family-friendly,  since we have two young kids—that’ll be a first for us. Right now, everything’s still in the  idea stage, but once this exhibition wraps up, we’ll dive into whatever feels most  exciting or meaningful to us at the time.

Photos by Meg Fitzgerald