When Patrycia Rzechowka was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis 13 years ago, she feared her dream of becoming a mother might never come true. But the Alberta-based advocate refused to give up. This Mother’s Day, she’s not only celebrating with her baby daughter in her arms—she’s also sharing her story to raise awareness for MS and inspire other women living with chronic illness to hold onto hope. In this candid Q&A, Patrycia opens up about her journey through diagnosis, IVF, and resilience—and why she’s more committed than ever to supporting the 90,000 Canadians living with MS. —Noa Nichol
Can you take us back to the moment you were first diagnosed with MS—what were you feeling, and how did it shift your vision of the future, especially around becoming a mom?
When you get a life changing diagnosis like MS your whole world shifts. You start to question everything about what your future will look like. The uncertainty can lead to a lot of anxiety and even grief about what you thought your life was going to look like because initially you really don’t know if it’s going to look the same. Until I started asking the questions about MS and becoming a mom I was terrified that it couldn’t happen or that I was somehow putting a baby at risk. It was a devastating thought, but the more I learned the better I felt about the possibilities. Over the years there has been so much good research that helped calm fears and mitigate risks.
You’ve described motherhood as a lifelong dream. What kept you hopeful and motivated through the ups and downs of your MS journey and the IVF process?
The thought of finally getting to hold that little baby in my arms. It was a huge driving force to keep myself as healthy and strong as possible. Learning as much as possible, having a good relationship with my care team and having a plan all helped me stay focused and push through anything. It’s amazing how I just knew I was meant to be a mother and how that gave me a strength I never knew I had.
How did you and your healthcare team work together to create a plan that supported both your health and your desire to have a family?
Coming up with a plan both leading into the pregnancy and what postpartum would look like helped immensely. It kept me focused and feeling safe and confident that it would all be ok. As much as we had a plan, part of that plan was to prepare as much as I can but also be prepared to be flexible. Much of life with MS, pregnancy, labour and delivery can be unpredictable and being able to adjust and roll with it makes all the difference.
What was it like the first time you held your daughter, knowing all you had been through to get there?
Magic, pure magic. It was like I forgot about everything else. It made me feel incredibly powerful that I was able to make it through everything and bring this beautiful little being into the world. It was like all I went through was exactly because she was meant to be here.
MS is often called “Canada’s disease.” Why do you think it’s so important for people—especially women—to understand how it can impact young lives?
A: MS is often called Canada’s disease but it also feels like it’s often a women’s disease with women being diagnosed up to 3x as often. It is being diagnosed younger and younger and thus often affecting women right in those “child bearing” years. It’s important to understand as much as they can about MS and start asking the questions early especially if they hope to have a family.
You’re a passionate advocate and participant in the MS Bike tours. How has physical activity helped you manage your symptoms and mental health?
Physical activity has been a crucial part of managing my day to day symptoms and my mental health. It’s definitely been a challenge with a new baby to find the time to get exercise in. I’ve had to accept that things like walks with the baby and dog have to be enough for now. But I’ve accepted that this is just the season I am in and I’m enjoying it. I feel like living with MS has a special way of teaching you to accept your new normals and this feels quite similar. What makes MS Bike stand out to me beyond the physical activity aspect is the sense of community those events bring. It truly feels like we are not in this alone, there is a vibrant MS community in Canada looking to achieve the same goal, end MS once and for all. It is so neat and dear to my heart that I brought my baby to the event when she was 5 weeks old so she could experience it.
What are some of the biggest misconceptions people still have about MS—and what do you wish they understood?
I think people don’t realize how invisible and episodic MS can be. That one day you can be ok and the next you are not. This makes living a regular day to day life challenging especially if you have an employer who is not supportive. It is a difficult thing to explain to those around you, like family and friends, so many put on a brave face and pretend to be ok. I just wish people could truly understand how challenging it can be.
What advice would you offer to other women with chronic or neurological conditions who may be questioning whether motherhood is possible for them?
I believe almost anything is possible if you want it badly enough. If you want it, it can be figured out. Try to have a plan going in and don’t be afraid to ask for support. Motherhood is challenging for most people at the best of times but it is also so rewarding! I also think motherhood teaches you what is truly important in life and what your priorities should be. For me it’s further emphasized how important it is to stay healthy, because she needs me to.
How can Canadians best support people living with MS—not just on Mother’s Day, but year-round?
Raising awareness about MS helps with misconceptions about what it is and what it’s like living with it. It helps get to a place of better understanding so that people with MS can feel understood and supported. Fundraising and participation in events like MS Walk and MS Bike also helps immensely as it funds the groundbreaking research that has made it possible for us to come this far. That has made it possible for me to be holding my own this little girl when not that long ago I would have been told not to have her.
Looking at your daughter now, what do you hope she learns from your journey?
I hope she sees strength but more importantly I hope she learns the importance of helping others. One day I hope she can be proud and know that so much of what I have done and tried to do is for her. So much of my journey has been to try to prevent mothers from having to deal with their own diagnosis or the diagnosis of their child. Having my own daughter has opened my eyes even more to what my own mother must have gone through and how incredibly supportive she has been. I hope above all she learns the importance of family, friendship and community because in the end that is what matters most, especially when living with a disease like MS.
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