Love, Loss & The Animals Who Heal Us

After two decades in Hollywood, Beth Bigler walked away from the red carpet to follow her heart—becoming the world’s leading pet loss grief counselor. With her new book Honoring Our Animals, she offers 365 meditations to help transform sorrow into sacred remembrance—and reminds us why grieving our pets is real, valid, and deeply human. —Noa Nichol

You wrote Honoring Our Animals at the intersection of Mental Health and Pet Awareness Month. Why is pet loss grief still so overlooked in conversations about emotional wellbeing?

Pet loss is one of the most dismissed forms of emotional pain. We’re told to downplay the depth of our bonds with animals—even though they shape our routines, our sense of safety, and our identity. When we lose them, the grief doesn’t fit into tidy boxes, and that can leave us feeling isolated, confused, or ashamed.

Grieving a beloved animal can be physically intense, spiritually disorienting, and socially invisible. It’s what we call disenfranchised grief—real but unacknowledged. People tell me all the time: “I didn’t expect it to hit this hard.” “No one prepared me.” “I feel like I should be over it.” These aren’t dysfunctions—they’re signs of deep relational love.

That’s why I wrote Honoring Our Animals—to offer daily comfort and validation for grief that’s ongoing and meaningful. Our relationship doesn’t end when our pet passes. It evolves. This book helps people stay connected to that love, one day at a time.

You left a successful Hollywood career to become a pet loss grief counselor. What sparked the shift?

In December 2017, my soulmate cat Arnie was diagnosed with cancer. He had been my mirror, my anchor—through every upheaval. When he got sick, I fell apart. Working with a pet loss counselor helped me understand anticipatory grief, and even when Arnie went into remission, I kept doing the inner work.

Then one day, I sat with a woman in the oncology waiting room while she said goodbye to her cat. I knew, in that moment, this was the work I was meant to do. A year later, Arnie declined from a second cancer. Four days after his diagnosis, I made the heart-wrenching decision to euthanize him.

That was the moment I understood: there’s no such thing as “someday.” I had to begin. Now, through my practice, my Instagram community, and this book, Arnie and I continue our work together—helping others heal.

What makes pet loss grief feel so distinct—sometimes even more painful than other forms of loss?

It’s an incredibly intimate kind of grief. Our animals are part of our everyday rituals—the meals, the silences, the laughter. For many, it’s the purest, most unconditional love they’ve known. No pressure, no performance. Just acceptance.

That’s why the loss can be destabilizing. I hear so often: “Who will ever love me like that again?”

Our animals are witnesses to our real, unfiltered lives. Losing them can feel like losing a part of ourselves.

You include rituals in the book. Can you share a favorite?

I love rituals that keep our beloveds close—ones that invite their presence into our daily life. Say their name at the coffee shop. Make a playlist of their favorite songs. Use a signature color or scent. Turn brushing your teeth into a moment of connection. These acts help people navigate the hardest part of grief: the sudden silence.

You’ve worked with celebrities and public figures—how does grief show up differently (or not) in the public eye?

Grief doesn’t care about status. For many high-profile people, their animal was the one who knew them before the fame—before everything changed. That bond is grounding.

But public grief comes with scrutiny. There’s pressure to look composed when what’s needed is space to fall apart. I’ve worked with clients who felt they couldn’t visibly grieve—even when their pet was their truest companion.

At the core, everyone misses the same thing: being loved without conditions.

There’s often shame in grieving a pet. How do you help people move through it?

Shame is one of the hardest parts of disenfranchised grief. I help clients name it, trace where it came from—cultural messaging, childhood beliefs—and then replace it with compassion.

Grief reflects love. Feeling deeply isn’t weakness—it’s devotion. Through connection rituals, affirmations, and conversations with their beloveds, we move back toward that love.

How can someone maintain a spiritual connection with their pet after they pass?

The bond doesn’t end—it changes shape. Here are a few rituals I often recommend:

• Say their name aloud each morning.
• Write letters to and from them.
• Wear memorial jewelry.
• Make a meal you used to share.
• Light a candle or create an altar.
• Use tarot or oracle cards to connect.

These rituals help people feel their love is still here—just in a new form.

You’ve spoken about how animals help regulate our nervous systems. What happens when that comfort is gone?

Animals don’t just soothe us emotionally—they regulate us physiologically. Petting them lowers cortisol and boosts oxytocin. Their presence tells our body we’re safe.

When that’s gone, our bodies feel the absence. Clients often experience anxiety, panic, and disrupted sleep. It’s not in their head—it’s in their nervous system.

That’s why I encourage grounding rituals: touching a keepsake, whispering their name, placing your hand on your heart. Small actions that remind your body: love is still here.

What should friends or family say to someone grieving a pet?

Treat it like any significant loss. Say their pet’s name. Don’t offer advice. Just listen. Drop off a meal. Write a card. Keep checking in—weeks and months later.

Say things like:

• “I’m thinking of you and [Pet’s Name].”
• “I’d love to see a picture.”
• “What’s your favorite memory?”
• “Can I help run an errand in [Pet’s Name]’s honor?”

Support doesn’t have to be grand—it just has to be consistent.

If there’s one message you hope readers take away from Honoring Our Animals, what is it?

Your grief is real. Your love still matters. This isn’t the end of your relationship—it’s a new chapter.

Speak to yourself the way your beloved would. They weren’t wrong about you. Let their love show you how to keep showing up for yourself.