The Underwear Drawer Of Friendship: Ashley Logan On Celebrating The Bonds That Shape Us

What do your besties and your underwear have in common? According to Montreal-based author Ashley Logan, everything. In her delightfully honest and heartfelt pocketbook, Invisible Threads: The Power of Female Friendships, Ashley explores eight distinct friendship “styles” through the lens of lingerie—from the comfy cotton BFF to the bold, confidence-boosting lace companion. In this Q&A, we chat with Ashley about why every friendship matters, how her book became an Amazon bestseller, and why it’s time we give female friendships the spotlight they deserve. —Vita Daily

What inspired you to write Invisible Threads, and why use an underwear analogy?

It all started with a challenge I gave my three daughters at the beginning of 2025: find a passion project—something creative, something off-screen. I promised to support them, but then realized I had to lead by example. So I started journaling. What began as a simple gratitude practice quickly evolved into something deeper—a reflection on the friendships that shaped and carried me.

Then one night, out of nowhere, the underwear analogy hit me. I realized my friendships are just like my underwear drawer—comforting, bold, reliable, wildly different, and each serving its own purpose. That was the spark.

The book outlines eight unique friendship “styles.” Do you have a personal favourite—or one that surprised you while writing?

I tend to be the “granny panty” friend—quirky, reliable, unapologetic—but I don’t have a true favourite. What I love is the mix. The bold thong, the dependable brief, the playful boyshort—they all bring different energy, and they’re all essential.

At a Girls’ Night book launch, we had this amazing moment where everyone realized they’re not the same “panty” to every friend. The supportive brief in one friendship might be the protective high-rise in another. That really blew people’s minds—and hearts—open.

Female friendships evolve. How do these ‘invisible threads’ shift as we move through life?

They stretch, they fray, sometimes they tangle—but the good ones don’t snap. As we grow through careers, motherhood, heartbreak, reinvention—our friendships shift too. What matters is allowing them to adapt. They don’t have to stay the same to stay strong.

What’s the most memorable feedback you’ve received from readers so far?

I’ve had women tell me they laughed, cried, and immediately texted a friend after finishing a chapter. That’s exactly what I hoped for. One reader told me, “I finally understand why I miss her even though we barely talk anymore.” That cracked something open for me. We don’t always name the grief or celebrate the joy in female friendships—but we should.

The book includes a 90s-style friendship quiz—love! What made you include that?

It was a total YM magazine throwback! I wanted to bring back that sleepover energy—playful, reflective, and fun. The quiz isn’t about labeling yourself but about appreciating your friendship style and the strengths you bring. My 13-year-old helped design the quiz and the scoring system!

You hit #1 in Amazon’s Friendship category—congrats! What’s next for the book and the movement?

Thank you! I’d love to create more spaces for women to talk about friendship—maybe a podcast, workshops, or a card game where you pull a “panty card” and answer a friendship prompt. I even started a Kickstarter to fund a giant live event filled with women from all walks of life. This isn’t just about reading—it’s about reconnecting, reflecting, and celebrating.

What advice do you have for women wanting to reconnect with old friends or deepen current ones?

Send the text. Don’t overthink it. A simple “I saw this and thought of you” can reopen a door that’s been closed too long. And if you want to deepen a connection? Show up—especially in the messy moments. That’s when those invisible threads tighten.

Your goal is to unite women of all ages through friendship. What does that look like in the future?

I imagine a multigenerational community—women in their teens, their 40s, their 70s—all sharing honestly and with humour. I’d love to host live events, brunches, virtual circles. I come from a background in leadership coaching and facilitation, and now I want to pour that into this purpose. The more we talk about it, the less alone we feel.

Friendship isn’t always picture-perfect. How do we normalize the messy parts?

By saying out loud that it’s normal. Real friendships involve missed calls, misunderstandings, awkward silences. They take effort, not just laughter. Like any relationship, they require work—but they’re worth it. And when we share the imperfect parts, we give others permission to stop pretending, too.

If you could dedicate this book to one friend who’s shaped you most, who would it be—and what “underwear” friend are they?

Oh wow—definitely Lauren, my friend since I was four. She’s in the long-distance friendship chapter, but really, she’s woven into every part of me. She’s this magical blend of sassy thong and fiercely protective panty—hype woman and safe place in one.

We have our own language. One word—WHALE—can send us into full, unhinged laughter. I’m talking medical-intervention-level laughter. That’s decades of friendship. That’s history. That’s joy. She sent me a picture of herself “ugly crying” while reading this book, and it made me cry too. That’s what it’s all about.