The Mom Flow: How I’m Making JOMO A Real Thing

Welcome to The Mom Flow, where I share things that are on my mind in the hopes of helping you connect to your Mom Flow. Thanks for being here! —Erin Sousa

Ok flow fam… I missed you!!! At the same time, the break has been nice of course. Just a big fan of giving myself space when needed, and that meant peeling off any pressure over the summer. But, The Mom Flow is back, and I would just love to hear from you – if you enjoy reading (or listening!), a comment would go a long way to tell me what you might like to see.

Alright, let’s chat!

Over the summer, something pretty profound shifted. I finally hit JOMO.

Let me explain. And just so we are clear: ChatGPT doesn’t write my posts – I am here, locked in with you.

Leaning into JOMO (joy of missing out, which is the complete opposite of its sister term, FOMO) has been my vibe lately. I feel so truly cemented in the contentment with my life, and like anyone, it’s been a journey to get here. That said, it still comes another level of self-critique. Like does it ever end?! While I’m a person who is confident in my decisions, I can find myself being quite self-critical. Questions in my head when I have JOMO are: “is this normal?”, “am I just settling?” “should I try harder?”. Can anyone reading this relate at all?

Let me back up. It can become a default to see something someone else is doing and have the instant “should that be me?” Or “why isn’t that me?”. It’s been a practice for me that anytime I feel that I go back to the basics: what makes me happy? Does this align with finding that happiness or is it pure ego? Is it all for appearances? Who would I be trying to impress? So much of it is trying to “look” cool.

Maybe it’s just the desire of being asked. Considered. Wanted. The ‘why wasn’t I invited’ sting is one I’ve turned into JOMO. Ya, hurts the ego for a sec, but that’s all it is. And you won’t remember it in a few weeks (if not hours).

To give you a more solid example, now, when I start to see content creators at NYFW, I’m sooooo JOMO. I’m so content with my little runs to the bodega, the freedom to pick Lola up from school, taking her to soccer and getting to watch. Making my coffee just the way I like it. When we are watching these seemingly glamorous highlight reels, it’s never as amazing as it looks and I’m so turned off by content that tries to sell a fairytale. I’ve been in so many glam looking scenarios that look so amazing from the outside, but it’s just not that – it’s rarely as fun as it looks, there are always problems/struggles BTS ppl are omitting.

And I know, the oldest saying in the book is that IG is a highlight reel but I also believe it’s messed with us so much and keeps us feeling in lack. You need to shift your mindset to a place that views the content as fantasy, bc that’s what it is. It’s. Not. Real. No one has it all together. So, what do you say? Is JOMO for you or are you working on it?

A few ways I’ve been enjoying life more and feeling content:

Being honest and open about what I need from my husband – I really don’t hold back when I feel like I need more support or need my love tank filled up. I always believe that holding it in causes cracks. Not just in the way it erodes a marriage but staying silent is really unhealthy!

New experiences – I’m embracing new routines and experiences in our fam in this season of life, like Lola starting on a real soccer league, having themed parties for her friends (I just did a K-Pop Demon Hunters party and made sure everyone came in jammies and were ready for lots of yummy snacks and fun). It’s so important for my mental health to keep things social – a more recent discovery of mine.

Being spontaneous – another recent discovery of mine is that I love routine, but I also crave spontaneity! Saying yes just because, looking for new ways to pop out of the norm (like this weekend, I’m taking Lola with me to Whistler just because! A little girls getaway, how fun). It’s not just for me, but for Lola too… I want to keep things fresh.

Things that have been really hard lately:

My health – I have been struggling since late August with pneumonia, and it has taken it OUT of me. like the exhaustion and short fuse is so real making everything feel a lot harder than it is

Lola not sleeping – Lola has always been an amazing sleeper and we have really set routines and boundaries around sleep (because mannnn I’m no good without it, and I’ve always felts its so good for her to have as much sleep as possible). I didn’t picture it all being thrown for a loop at 5 years old – she will NOT go to sleep without major tears and she puts up a huge fight every night, not wanting to sleep alone. Keep us in your thoughts.

Balancing opportunities – it’s always a good problem to have, but I defo feel spread a bit thin with work. That said, I am so so much more productive when things are busy and work best under pressure. Bright side!

There’s more! Keep reading this week’s edition of The Mom Flow by Erin Sousa; subscribe for free to receive new posts and support her work, here!