Allowance, Anxiety & Raising Money-Smart Kids

Talking to kids about money has never been more common—but according to new Canadian research, actually preparing them to manage it confidently is a very different story. In partnership with Mydoh, financial empowerment expert, CPA, and mom Vanessa Bowen is helping families rethink financial literacy through everyday moments that feel practical, approachable, and stress-free. In this Q&A, Vanessa breaks down the growing gap between “money talks” and real-world money confidence—and shares how parents can help raise financially resilient kids in an increasingly complicated world. —Noa Nichol

Parents today are talking to their kids about money more than ever – so why do so many still feel their children aren’t actually prepared for the real world?

Because understanding money and managing money are two very different things. What we found in Mydoh’s just-released Financial Resilience Report is that parents are absolutely having the conversations — 90% say they talk to their kids about money regularly — and kids are learning foundational concepts like saving and needs versus wants. But confidence comes from practice – making decisions, learning through experience and gradually building independence – not just awareness. A child can understand budgeting in theory, but still feel overwhelmed the first time they have to make spending decisions on their own. That’s the gap many parents are sensing.

A lot of millennials and Gen Z adults admit they’re still figuring money out themselves. How do parents teach financial confidence when they’re still healing their own money habits?

I actually think there’s something powerful about parents admitting they don’t have all the answers. In fact, the report found that 34% of Canadian parents feel their own financial resilience needs improvement (and that number rises to 42% among moms specifically). So many parents are trying to build healthier money habits while teaching them at the same time.

The good news is kids don’t need perfect financial experts — they need calm, honest role models. Saying things like, “I’m learning, too,” or “I wish someone had taught me this earlier,” can normalize money as something we continue building skills around throughout life. Financial confidence isn’t about never making mistakes. It’s about knowing you can navigate them, adjust and keep learning.

What’s the difference between raising a child who can talk about money and one who can actually manage it independently?

In one word: practice. We can explain money concepts all day long, but resilience develops when kids actually use money in small, age-appropriate ways over time. Earning money, making spending choices, regretting a purchase, saving toward something meaningful — those experiences build judgment and confidence. It’s similar to teaching a child to ride a bike. You can explain balance, but eventually they need to wobble a little themselves.

Kids today are growing up in a world of tap-to-pay, online shopping, and invisible spending. Does that make teaching financial literacy harder — or just different?

Certainly different. Money has become much less tangible, so kids need more visibility and context around how it moves. When spending is instant and frictionless, it’s easier to disconnect purchases from consequences. That’s why ongoing conversations matter so much. Parents don’t necessarily need to fear technology – they can use it as a teaching tool. Apps like Mydoh can help make digital money habits more visible by allowing parents and kids to review spending together in real time.

Parents often feel pressure to make money conversations “perfect.” What are some surprisingly simple everyday moments that actually teach kids the most about money?

Some of the best money conversations happen casually. Talking through a grocery decision, comparing prices online, explaining why you’re waiting to buy something, or involving kids in planning a birthday party budget — those small moments add up. Money confidence is built through repetition and real-world experience, not one big formal lesson. Even five or ten minutes a week reviewing spending decisions or savings goals together can make a meaningful difference over time.

What’s one common mistake well-meaning parents make that unintentionally creates financial anxiety or entitlement in kids?

I think it’s when money becomes emotionally loaded — either overly stressful or completely avoided. Kids are incredibly perceptive. If money conversations only happen during moments of tension, children can start associating money with fear or shame. On the other hand, constantly rescuing kids from every financial mistake can prevent them from building resilience. The goal is to create a healthy middle ground where kids feel informed, supported and capable.

We often hear about teaching children to save – but how important is it to also teach them how to spend thoughtfully and enjoy money responsibly?

It’s incredibly important. Building financial well-being isn’t about never spending money – it’s about spending with intention. Kids need to learn that money is a tool, not something to fear. When children have opportunities to make thoughtful spending decisions themselves, they start developing judgment, priorities and self-awareness. That’s a huge part of long-term financial confidence.

Social media constantly sells kids a curated version of wealth and success. How can parents help children build confidence without tying self-worth to material things?

Parents can help by focusing conversations less on “having things” and more on values, choices and goals. Confidence grows when kids feel capable, trusted and included — not when they feel pressure to perform wealth. It also helps to remind children that social media often shows consumption without context. Open conversations about things like advertising, comparison and financial realities can help kids develop a healthier relationship with both money and self-worth.

What does “financial resilience” actually look like in a child or teenager—and how can parents recognize when they’re successfully building it?

Financial resilience looks a lot like adaptability. It’s not about perfection. It’s a child or teenager pausing before making a purchase, recovering from a spending mistake without spiraling, asking thoughtful questions, or working steadily toward a goal. It’s confidence built through experience. Parents should remember that resilience develops gradually. If your child feels comfortable talking about money, making decisions and learning along the way, that’s meaningful progress, especially as they grow.

If you could shift one thing about how Canadian families approach money conversations at home, what would it be?

I’d love families to stop treating money conversations as one big intimidating topic and start seeing them as small, ongoing moments of connection. Financial confidence isn’t built in a single lecture — it’s built gradually through everyday experiences, openness and practice. The more normalized these conversations become, the more prepared kids will feel stepping into adulthood.